Congratulations to all fellow Pakistani citizens, our honorable president has made a marvelous discovery of the 21st century. After seven years of struggle, restless nights and extensive research, he has been able to formulate “An Instant Problem Solver for any Problem anywhere, anytime” aka “Emergency”.
This remarkable invention will definitely change the face of the earth, with misery lawlessness, corruption, biased judiciary, suppression of human rights will become things of past. I wonder , whether our next generation will ever heard these words( they might exists in dictionary ). It will help the deteriorating economy to make an about turn and hit the sky.
So, how it works. Well it is strongly to advise to use it when the ‘nation’ is in ‘peril’. Just proclaim Emergency for few days, and then see the result. You won’t believe it, until you see it happening. In few days you will see result yourself. Lift the state of Emergency after the ‘nation’ is out of ‘danger’. (Note: according to the latest research reports by MIT-Mussharraf Institute of Technology, Emergency and Martial Law are synonyms, you can always use them interchangeably ,if you are president and coas). Sometimes the constitution may prohibit you from taking the dose, but you know that sometimes we have to ‘swallow the bitter pill’ for the ‘greater good’.
I would advise to all the presidents and head of states of the world to give this incredible invention, a try. The patent owner is offering money back guarantee if results are not met.
To market the new product, I think , the patent will use some of the existing advertisements for different commodities available in the market as they will give the desire touch. Some examples.
Uff, Dant ka Dard,
is Dant ke Dard ka kia illaj,
pesh hai medicam toothpaste
issey do minute dantoon pe laga rehne dein , phir asar dekhien ,
Medicam tooth paste, dentists ki awaleen pasand.
Uff, judges nahin bik rahe,
mein sadar kese banon, is dard ka hai koi illaj,
pesh hia Emergency 2007,
isey kuch din mulk mein laga rehne dein, phir asar dekhien,
Emergency 2007 , generals ki awalien pasand.
Suduri (cough Syrupe)
khansi ka hamla ,
suduri se paspa,
hamdard ki suduri,
(tamam duwain bachon ki pohanch se dur rakhein , tabiyat ziada kharab ho tu doctor se rijo’ karein , turrrnrn)
Judicary ka hamla,
emergency se paspa,
mussharf ki emergency 2007.
(tamam khabarain media ke pohanch se dur rakhein, halat ziada kharab hon tu media pe pabandi laga dein , dissshhh!)
do goli sher ke nishan wali , pani mein jald haal ho jati hai .
chand din ki emergency , General ke nishan walim, mulk mein jaldi lagoo hojati hai.
and the list goes on, :), In short the discvery addresses the following symptoms.
“Are you annoyed with Judicary”
“Is media making fun of you and your allies by publishing their wrongdoings”
“You are not sure whether you will be president for the next term or not.”
“You feel constitution is in your way to greater good”.
then go ahead with emergency.
“One way to rule them all, One way to find them all, One way to bring them all and in the darkness bind them”.
Emergency is the Way.
Nation => you and yourself only i.e president or head of state or coas
Danger, Peril => you might not get a chance to hold the hot seat for the next term.
Swallow the bitter pill => go and f*** constitution, it won’t be much problematic.
Greater good => your and your allies future as you being in the hot seat.
During the dose you might observe following hallucinations, just disregard them.
faraz (feeling proud to be Pakistani)