Instant Problem Solver: An Invention By Pakistan President

 

Congratulations to all fellow Pakistani citizens, our honorable president has made a marvelous discovery of the 21st century. After seven years of struggle, restless nights and extensive research, he has been able to formulate “An Instant Problem Solver for any Problem anywhere, anytime” aka “Emergency”.

This remarkable invention will definitely change the face of the earth, with misery lawlessness, corruption, biased judiciary, suppression of human rights will become things of past. I wonder , whether our next generation will ever heard these words( they might exists in dictionary ). It will help the deteriorating economy to make an about turn and hit the sky.

So, how it works. Well it is strongly to advise to use it when the ‘nation’ is in ‘peril’. Just proclaim Emergency for few days, and then see the result. You won’t believe it, until you see it happening. In few days you will see result yourself. Lift the state of Emergency after the ‘nation’ is out of ‘danger’. (Note: according to the latest research reports by MIT-Mussharraf Institute of Technology, Emergency and Martial Law are synonyms, you can always use them interchangeably ,if you are president and coas). Sometimes the constitution may prohibit you from taking the dose, but you know that sometimes we have to ‘swallow the bitter pill’ for the ‘greater good’.

I would advise to all the presidents and head of states of the world to give this incredible invention, a try. The patent owner is offering money back guarantee if results are not met.

To market the new product, I think , the patent will use some of the existing advertisements for different commodities available in the market as they will give the desire touch.  Some examples.

Medicam Toothpaste.
(original)
Uff, Dant ka Dard,
is Dant ke Dard ka kia illaj,
pesh hai medicam toothpaste
issey do minute dantoon pe laga rehne dein , phir asar dekhien ,
Medicam tooth paste, dentists ki awaleen pasand.

(revised)
Uff, judges nahin bik rahe,
mein sadar kese banon, is dard ka hai koi illaj,
pesh hia Emergency 2007,
isey kuch din mulk mein laga rehne dein, phir asar dekhien,
Emergency 2007 , generals ki awalien pasand.

 

Suduri (cough Syrupe)
(original )
khansi ka hamla ,
suduri se paspa,
hamdard ki suduri,
(tamam duwain bachon ki pohanch se dur rakhein , tabiyat ziada kharab ho tu doctor se rijo’ karein , turrrnrn)

(revised)
Judicary ka hamla,
emergency se paspa,
mussharf ki emergency 2007.
(tamam khabarain media ke pohanch se dur rakhein, halat ziada kharab hon tu media pe pabandi laga dein , dissshhh!)

Paracetamol.
(original)
do goli sher ke nishan wali , pani mein jald haal ho jati hai .
(revised)
chand din ki emergency , General ke nishan walim, mulk mein jaldi lagoo hojati hai.

…….

and the list goes on, :), In short the discvery addresses the following symptoms.
“Are you annoyed with Judicary”
“Is media making fun of you and your allies by publishing their wrongdoings”
“You are not sure whether you will be president for the next term or not.”
“You feel constitution is in your way to greater good”.

then go ahead with emergency.
“One way to rule them all, One way to find them all, One way to bring them all and in the darkness bind them”.
 Emergency is the Way.

Glossory :
Nation => you and yourself only i.e president or head of state or coas
Danger, Peril => you might not get a chance to hold the hot seat for the next term.
Swallow the bitter pill => go and f*** constitution, it won’t be much problematic.
Greater good => your and your allies future as you being in the hot seat.

During the dose you might observe following hallucinations, just disregard them.

 

regards

faraz   (feeling proud to be Pakistani)

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10 responses to “Instant Problem Solver: An Invention By Pakistan President

  1. Excellent work faraz, I really wish that your thoughts and concerns could make some difference

  2. even though I found the stuff as very funny, I think the ask of the hour is a bit different and we could make ourselves more useful in other ways in these tough times…

  3. That’s a great one! Superb! Marvelous!

  4. Very interesting…..although i wish we’d stop the overt criticism and over the top analysis of the situation, it has gone on long enough!!!!!!

  5. thanks guys for your comments, I really appreciate that, let me share with you why I wrote that.

    This post was meant to serve as catharsis for my feeling towards the current situation of our homeland. I was planning to write something about the emergency since its promulgation, but due to my laziness and already ongoing excessive debate over the situation kept me at bay. So what caused this spitting out of the sarcastic post? well, the reason was the president’s statement soon after getting his confirmation for presidency that now country has been saved from disaster, every thing is fine, and everyone can live happily ever after from now on, and therefor he has decided to lift the emergency soon :), I have now words to express how I felt at the time.

    Pakistan has been blessed by a number of corrupt and power hungry politician. With the passage of time, they are becoming more and more shameless, and confident about their illegal and immoral conduct.This applies to mushi as well as other ‘reputed politician’. Moulana diesal, pinky, ganja, bhai, …. our ‘Poliwood’ has abundance of talent and versatility.
    🙂

  6. Very nice article, and a very touching video. There maybe a humorous touch, but highlights a very painful and sad problem of our country.

  7. Hello, this post is very very funny. i also liked the one having an account of the ‘sad demise’ of your laptop… keep writing

  8. thanks a lot for appreciation , keep your comments pouring in, they are vital to my writings 😉

  9. Faraz bhah
    hai tu khasa talakh topic per aap ne waqi bohat acha likha hai
    aakhir meray bhai hu tu kyun naii 😛

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